Most would assume my life as a model consists of Oscar after parties, all nighters at the biggest clubs and hanging with the hottest celebrities. While I can tell you that option is definitely available to myself and most models, after testing out the water and indulging in some fun my first year living in LA…I can tell you, it’s just not that great. I tried to be that fun innocent girl who could be cool at parties… Acting like meeting another celeb was no big deal on the outside (but in my mind I’m like OH MY GERD), having to wear uncomfortable shoes and sway awkwardly to rap music…all while men in the industry, whether they were wealthy CEO’s or friends with a Promotor, all stared and gawked at the herd of models like pieces of meat. I’m way too much of a square to be able to drink tequila sodas (the lowest calorie drink) and have rich men try to grab me or a friend and be ok with it. Totally not shaming those who can let loose and have fun… I envy those who throw their cares to the wind and trust that everything will be fine. Being raised as the oldest sibling and only daughter to a pretty strict family, I was scared from a young age into being a total square!
After going to Coachella last year along with one of those crazy groups…I decided that I was done with the obligation I felt to HAVE to go out and network. Truth is, I never felt comfortable enough to drink in those situations….and lemme tell you, it would’ve been way more enjoyable if I wasn’t sober! I just don’t know what the thrill is after awhile…you see the same people all doing the same thing. It’s not like actual dancing at a rager, it’s a lot more standing around and networking with really loud music and free alcohol.
Bottom line is I wasn’t wired to be able to pull all nighters and function the next day. I love my bed. I’m not ashamed. Letting go of trying to be something I’m not is so liberating. So I spend my days off crafting and making essential oil products, and my nights getting in bed by 6:30 with Seth and kitty and binge watching addictive tv shows on Netflix. With some dessert. And fuzzy socks. And I’ve never been happier or felt better about my life. My ideal night with the girls has always included wine, pajamas, and Pitch Perfect.